Parenting: Love is the Answer

Parenting: Love is the Answer

The primary factor in raising children is love. If parents can just learn to treat their children with love and consideration, the children will feel loved and secure.

Most parents can’t be with their children all the time, but it’s difficult for small children to understand that. Children think they should be the most important things in the world to their parents, so when the parents can’t show them constant attention because of other obligations, it hurts the children–and of course, the more children you have, the less individual time and attention you can give each one. That’s why it’s so important for parents to tune in to their children and give them love and attention when they do have the opportunity.

The first step is to pray for understanding of your children. Ask the Lord to show you what each child needs in each situation, and then do the little things that can mean so much.

Everybody needs to feel special to somebody, to have a personal sense of belonging. No matter how many children you have, you can still give each one something special–either special attention or a special something that means a lot to them–and you should try to do this consistently so none of them think they’re just one more child in the line-up.

Give each one lots of love and encouragement, because words have the power to build them up and help them feel loved. “Look what a big boy you are! We’re so proud of you. You’ve learned so much!” Say things that will let them know they really are special to you.

Small children, especially, don’t yet have a concept of time, so if you give one child something and tell the others that theirs will come next time, “next time” will probably seem a long way away and very nebulous. So in most cases when you give one something, you should try to do a little something special for the others too.

You can’t and shouldn’t treat all of your children the same all the time. Each needs to know they are special in their own way. And when one needs something that the others don’t, they have to be taught that it’s according to need, not because one is more loved. If you take one out to get a needed pair of shoes, for example, and you bring the others back a little toy or something that may cost only a few cents, this shows that you love them and remembered them too.

A little love goes a long way! Children are bound to have problems, but no matter what the problem stems from, love can correct it.

A lot of adults don’t realize how important it is to explain things to children. You can’t just assume that they understand. How can they understand hardly anything unless you explain it to them? Most adults don’t take things without some kind of explanation, and children have as much right to an explanation as anybody. If you think there could be any question in their minds or hurt feelings, explain. Even if they can’t understand everything you say, just the fact that you try to explain it conveys to them that you’re concerned about their feelings, and that will help.

It’s nearly always a problem when somebody else comes along, like a new baby, who they think is going to take their place. Children’s feelings are just the same as adults’, only difficult situations can be even more traumatic for children when they haven’t experienced those things before and therefore don’t have the assurance that things usually work out in the end. That’s why children are so much more vulnerable than adults, because of their very limited experience. So you have to treat children even more carefully and tenderly and considerately than adults.

It breaks my heart when I see parents in public places cuff their child on the head or lash out over something that the poor child probably didn’t understand in the first place. It’s tragic! Children are more sensitive and more easily hurt than adults. They instinctively love and trust their parents, and to destroy that is really sad!

Children aren’t that hard to understand if you just put yourself in their position. The experiences they go through are very similar to the things we adults go through, only harder for them to understand and harder for them to take. When we go through difficulties, even though we know that if we pray the Lord will work things out and see us through, it’s still often difficult. But when children go through these things, they’re sort of lost unless we do everything possible to reassure them with love.

I once heard a true story about a boy who went to a banquet and found he was the only male guest. He was so nervous that he knocked over his glass of water. The hostess saw his embarrassment and immediately knocked over her glass to draw everyone’s attention away from the boy and spare his feelings. Without saying a word, she reassured him that it was okay; everyone makes mistakes.

A little love goes a long way! Children are bound to have problems, but no matter what the problem stems from, love can correct it. Even if you don’t understand what the problem is, the Lord understands–and the answer is love! “Love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12 NIV). Just a little love and concern can make up for a lot of mistakes and failures, no matter who or what is to blame. Anybody–child or adult–can be helped by love! Love is the answer!

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10 Comments

  1. Karen Courtney
    February 6, 2013, 3:21 am   /  Reply

    I so needed this today! Makes me want to go hug on my children and make sure they know how much I love them and love being their mommy.

    Thank you!

  2. Barbra
    January 24, 2014, 6:31 pm   /  Reply

    Thank you for that so important reminder to love…God has been speaking to me about a situation conconcerning my oldest. You confirme it…thank you

  3. canella
    January 27, 2014, 5:41 am   /  Reply

    Thank you so much for this. I have had very little patience with my daughter lately primarily with her not understanding and listening to instruction whenever I give it to her. I expect her to understand and assume she should know what I’m telling her.

    • Geraldine
      April 27, 2017, 6:17 am   /  Reply

      I am in the same situation as you. I take it for granted that my teenage daughter understands things and get short tempered when she asks so many questions or fails to follow my instructions. So thank you for opening my eyes. I will certainly show her more love and be more patient with her.

  4. lucy
    December 9, 2014, 10:34 pm   /  Reply

    Thank you sooo much I am a nanny and house keeper I take care of 2 kids they are not good listeners but this will surely helps. God bless.

  5. May 20, 2016, 5:57 pm   /  Reply

    This is truly God speaking to me. I am raising 3 of my 12 grandchildren. They are all very special to me. It was hard to explain that the 3 who i had custudy of had no mom,dad or other relatives to take care of them. So i had the time but not the extra money to get the other grandchildren expensive items their other relatives could. They thought i did not love them. After reading this i now understand how they felt and what i can do to make them feel special too .

  6. Kay
    March 2, 2017, 8:01 pm   /  Reply

    Thank u Lord for teaching me to love. It’s so true so many of our children are looking for love. As strange as it may seem this is why so many of our children are sold to the streets of drugs. Only bc working for the big man they show them love they think. Mothers we have to love our children with the three little words. I love u.

  7. Geraldine
    April 27, 2017, 6:22 am   /  Reply

    Thank you Lord for speaking to me through this channel and opening my eyes. Thank you for your love.

  8. Home safely
    May 4, 2017, 7:16 am   /  Reply

    Thank you for this enlightening message.
    Father I ask you to Help my family. All this time I’ve been wondering what exactly Is the problem with my family. Why we struggle to interact and exchange positive energies with each other and you have finally shown it to me. Please help my family love each other. Help us to help each other through love. Cover is with your blood Heavenly Father and let us speak of your great works I’m our lives. I trust and believe that you will make this come true as you said as a man seeketh may he believe that he has received.Amen

  9. Comfort
    May 26, 2017, 11:11 am   /  Reply

    Thank you so much. I am a mother of two beautiful children but the dad and I separate and he decided to take my son with him and left my daughter, but It’s been 9 yrs now I am still hurt. Now my son is getting older and he is saying that I love my daughter more than he and I am so hurt by that. But coming across your story tonight really blessed my heart. God bless you for what you’re doing.

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